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the roach from my little experiment finally died yesterday.

its surprising how a person's feeling is able able to affect another without even saying much.
things are churning in my head.. yet i am not sure what exactly.
everything is infused into a big ball of mess.

its surprising what a person would do for another without even making it seem like a big gesture.

wth am i talking abt? i feel so emo all of a sudden. ha
what can i do eh? hmmm...

herms.

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ive watched all the movies i promised myself i would... it dosent usually happen though but kinda happy i managed to see all... usually its not planned and iam not the one asking to see the movie. 'X men' was fab... loved the characters. 'Da Vinci' was well.. great story line, great venues and stuff.. but the ending didnt exactly made me feel the "umph". iam very happy with 'Over the Hedge' though.. watched with my sister... it was funny, cute... loved the damn squirrel!! hahaha...
stayed over at my couins place.. felt so dead when i reached there... cause i was out all day before that, dragging my vintage black bag that i so adore now! so dunhill...*grins to myself*
anyhoo.. today met my mom and my other cousin for lunch before heading home... it was not that bad i guess.. had a little unwelcomed surprise along the way...
hmmm... oh yes.. i managed to draw for my sis another one of the bunny with teddy she was begging me to do..

well yeah.. got noghing much to say now... kinda lost in thought.

herms. hope ur ok.

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its been less than a month since i blogged but it seems like its been ages... maybe cause so many things have been happening..
well my teeth is acting funny again..i dont know what sup with that..oh well..anyhoo...
been going out quite often... just trying to pass time i guess... been walking around seeing diff things.. usually i end up at bras basah and finding a good buy and end up getting myself some art books.. ive got around 11 books in total..i managed to get those thick hard covered ones i so love.
i love books.. they are one of the things that always makes me happy. i see myself in a home filled with books! yeah..yes.. that will be one of my goals in life.
my head is in a mess... so many things are runing through my head.. i think maybe its taking a toll... my grandmom is not feeling very well.. been quite some time too.. i usually end up feeling worried sick and feeling bad...
i wonder what your doing at this very moment...but i usally think abt it all the time....
erms.. well i end up just numbing myself and zoning out and pretend its not happening so i dont have to think abt it... oh well!
err.. i finally uploaded some of my overdue sketches ive done of my all time fav bunnies...

earthquake for 2?.. so long ago...

i drew this for myself... actually its me, bunny and duck.. :p

then my sis wanted her own version... she wanted one with a teddy.. so i did one for her..poor teddy.

well besides that... hmm i dunno what else to say.. maybe i should just upload some pics!

got abit sloshed...got into abit of a mess.. damn..

p.s. my blog (and maybe me) is abit screwed now... so sorry if somethings arent the way it seems...

herms.

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i was so eager to blog...but everytime i sit here staring at this screen i go blank.

well firstly, just wanted to say i had fun with u lot that day.. we sure ate alot..well kinda.. hope everything goes well for u kanesh...dont stress your self out to much mr darren. everything will fall in place.. well thats what i believe.
i had "yong tau fu?' for dinner.. actually i was not up for it but i noticed my pri school friend was working there.. i guess i was just curious to see if he knew who i was. i made my order as per normal. he didnt say anything, but his eyes did... i could clearly tell he knew me from the way he looked even though it was just for a second. i took my food and left. strange how ppl u use to know become strangers.

i am like 2hrs late in saying that its been 5 months since the day i saw u... it has to mean something... i wont bother saying it again..sadly

tonight seemed so still... saw the moon shinning brightly in the clear night sky before i boarded the bus.pure beauty. how often do people actually take the time to see the good things in life everyday?iam trying to do so.. see the good things every day .. there must be at least one.
i miss star gazing... makes u feel small... pathetically small.. it stirkes an eagernees in u to seek something more... it makes me feel my aim for material wealth dosent really matter.. like thats not all that important anymore.

collective concious thinking... iam kinda intrigued by it. thanks to mr k.

saw a documentary on astroids... we are doomed if one decides to hit us tomorrow. we are so not prepared.. actually we are not really prepared for anything. 75% of all living things will perish if a relatively sized on hits.. scary huh... they say the bird flu will kill 1/2 to 3/4 of the world's population when it breaks out... what are your chances of surviving?

i couldnt control myself in the bus.. i was just feeling so sad suddenly.. saw someone who reminded me of a person whos suppose to be there for me.. but he made to many bad judgements. eventhough he realised what he did, i think its kinda to late now. totally dissconnected.

but apart from that.. saw u sleeping..your head propped against the pane of glass which was nearly covered with marks and prints of other past passengers.. your head was bobbing... bet you were aching.it was as if the word 'tired' was radiating from u..i felt it.its sad how badly i was so close yet so far. a shoulder of comfort to lean on yet it seems impossible for fear of going against the idea of being ideal and discreet.

gosh iam being so random... i dont know.
herms.

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(Edited on 23/05/06)

Video removed

Ed Harcourt- This ones for you a song thats been keeping me company... a song that sang me to sleep while i waited for your window to turn orange... a song thats making me run through images of the past in my head. herms.

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iam feeling weird...
i felt drunk when i stepped out of the bus...
i think maybe iam subconciously a slut...
the need for attention is definately growing...

whats happening?...
what do i exactly want?...
what the hell am i doing?...
what the f***...

oh yes... 6 more days and it would be exactly 5 months...
do you remember?
i feel liek screaming...
i want to be found dead in bed.

herms.