...

as much as i hate nights like these,
i try not to forget it.
i watched the video again after so long.
i still cried.
iam so scared of letting go .. what if i let go of myself.
iam scared for this new yr.. time flew by just like that.

...

i was lying down...
playing with the gun around my neck
then snap.. it broke.
how surprising to feel how i felt at that moment.
it wasnt a happy feeling.
now its still around my neck..
just like a symbol... but it dosent work anymore.

i saw a couple last night..
kissing in the dark..
how i looked with my half high state.
how i reimagined the characters.
how i wanted to push them of the ledge.

...

u said i was nonchalant.
i wonder what u meant by it.
u said i changed to.. how weird when my past entry was abt change.
maybe i really did change just that i didnt realise.
i guess i did. i really try not to care so much or over think things anymore...
trying to make myself lighter.
maybe its getting to light... i feel iam getting dumb.. ppl are calling me a himbo.
gosh.. oh wells.
a maker... i remember how tired i was with u looking for one.. but it was fun
a secret wish to get as a gift.
i still get u irritated at times when we talk on the occasion.. u ended up saying iam still the same liek last time.
i dunno why it gets me thinking.
national day coming though! time to paarrttyy!