mid week.

read.
i am so tired. ive been falling asleep everywhere i go. i cant sleep till late and i wake up so often and i feel pissed when its 6.
this week sucks. iam furious with everyone. EVERYONE.only j has been keeping me busy and keeping my mind elsewhere with her work.
i got a dinner treat from her at 15 mins today. followed what she said and ordered the CHEF's Burger. yum yum!really surprised. it was good! had it with my basics. HEINZ KETCHUP & MUSTARD!!!
yumm yum.. the fries were god but i was soooo full i couldnt finish.well compared to the other burger places i tried, i have to put it at the top.

the other i tried was BURGER, BENCH & BAR
we ordered what was reviewed in 8days. the Sarawak burger and something else. it wasnt that bad. they said the chips were fantastic but when i had it i felt like it was from those organic pre made and packaged potato chip. oh wells. the ice cream was a slight to thick for my liking though.

ohk the other place was HANDBURGER.there was so much hype and the place looks amazing but i was still dissapointed. the graphics and marketing was good i give that much. :P

i ordered the portebello burger as reviewed. when it came i dont know if it was just my burger but it was soggy and cold!!!, goodness and to think a burger cost like $13 is so not worth it! i felt kinda sick truthfully. but it was worth the try.

wel other than food, i still got my stuff to do for butter and the photoshoots to help out with. thank goodness. or else ill be brain dead.

ohk ciao. i am starting to love blogging again.

midnight ramblings.

just got home.
got some new songs in the ipod..finally.
went town in the evening and i found this amazing magazine. not exactly design but iam inlove with the shoots!... i dont know why but maybe after hanging out with j alot, i end up getting exposed to another side of "arts and design" fashion photography. its like telling a story.
so i ended up buying this...
awesome. anyways i need to thank j too for taking such nice profile shots of me with such random light sources.. in my case, a vending machine.
another surprise was i saw k online on msn which hasnt happened in the longest time. but i felt i shouldnt say anything so lets leave it at that.
anyway someone is not feeling right at the moment. its making me think maybe i should be feeling the same way.
ok i think i should start my night madness.

ciao.

happiness.

Do i look happy when i woke up today?
i dont know maybe not but DAMNN... did my eyes hurt or what!?
goodness. two days of the same thing.
i felt bad what i did on friday. but i guess you should have said something.
i feel that what i feel is growing. but so many things are telling me its wrong.
where i am now is not what i visioned at all. totally not. and i guess this new lifestyle is taking some time to adjust... if i can adjust.
but somebody looks happy. both look similar. iam just glad your happy. i guess its easier.
i think iam still growing.

forever and always. luv,
herman.

Thursday.

started camp today only at 1pm. funny thing is that 4 hours of work felt longer than a normal day.
anyways iam just thinking iam lucky to be able to keep myself busy these days.
helping j with her school work. taking photos on Saturday.. fun work i hope.
i need to sit down and sketch and research on what i want to do for the fashion battle for Butter. need to collect the cheque from him too.. he wanted to meet him outside California at orchard. hah! to bad i was home.
had to cancel plans with nisa and jas.. yest again. nisa has something on. so hard to catch up with them.
tomorrow i guess ill be watching the chinese movie.... argh... but iam looking forward to dinner. it will be nice seeing u again...even thousgh we arent exactly on the same wave length.
need to get the fees and stuff settled for the ZOUK flea coming up too.
another medical next week. its draining me badly. mentally tired i just wanna crawl under the sheets and die.

ciao.

things to do.

OK i was going through my old stuff and i found my old organizer.
i saw this nice quote " sometimes the greatest journey is the distance between two people"
nice eh?
anyhoo other than that iam keeping myself busy with mediocre things like chasing this company for $200 bucks, erm helping J with her school work( making notebooks) thats what iam good at heh. :P
erm then just other silly things like
- getting more wooden hangers

-fix my swatch and casio watches

- get mothers' day presents soon for my mom auntie and grandmom. i was thinkign of a plant . ahhaha.. orchid maybe?

-then other must do liek payign my phone bill and other money matters.

-get stuff sorted for ZOUK FLEA. 2 may ppl. try and find me.

yup yup.... oh yes bobby from butter factory emailed me. finally my VIP card is coming. not much diff though ive been doign well without it anyways.
and now i can go zouk anytime i want too! since one of the fellas is working under them as their house desginer. fun fun.

ok another rainy day. more grey clouds. maybe the sky is feelign the way i do again. not to bad not to good. jusy grey. PURFECT.
ciao bella.

Rain

Its raining again. it would be nice to just lie in the dark on your bed and just day dream.
maybe burn an aromatic candle or something.
i miss good food and wine.. just hanging out with frens and having a good conversation.
ive learned quite abit about wines. ive learned alot actually abt other stuff too. but i guess that all part and parcel of it. thanks again.
anyhoo.. if only i can do a proper party with cheese and wine and finger snacks.. those those silly ones but like devil eggs or something.
fun times.
oh my new CDG pants is hereee... happy abt that. next item would be my porter japan bag pack.
heh!
take care. lov.
ciao.

Morning!!... well not really.

well woke up too early for a sunday. was up till 3am yesterday just going crazy on the net. maybe my mind gives me ideas better in crazy hours?
iam just thinking of my situation now. its so hard to decide.
people say its not really my thing but i dont know.. its nice.. but its so hard when the mindset is totally different!!
i like something different and maybe with more similar taste but i guess its kinda dangerous.
besides that i feel slightly frustrated with what i see.
seriously.... but i know i should ease up abit. heh..
other than thatttttt.....
i am still going Bangkok then to Philippines then to Italy for my 23 bday!!!
yippee!
other than that i have to figure what i wanna do
totally cant study yet.. i got stuff planned out till march next year. after that maybe ill sign up to fly? i dont wanna stay here. to many preety things to see elsewhere.
well.. like they sayyy..
ciao bella!

hi again.

the last post i posted was 2007. can u believe how time flies and how old ive gotten since then? how much has come and gone my way... to much to say in a single post.
i guess it has given me lessons and realizations.
how much have i changed? i know i have.. ive been told too many times.
i dont know what made me come back here.
i guess there is a certain comfort in this quiet yet too public corner of cyber space that pour my random thoughts.
its nearly 4 am and i still cant get to bed.
thinking of soo many things. i feel like pasing out. my mind is so tired.
let me just give a brief intro to my head.

pills, love, past present future, friends, alcohol, army, therapy, mistake, rushed, sex, longing, clothes, money, job, pictures, love always, momentum, ciggs, kiss, alcohol, conversations, runaway, travel, sky, art, blood...
well those are just some stuff thats going in my head.

its enough to kill me. i think iam going crazy.