tired.

Nothing new. I am nothing but tired this few days. All I think abt is the stuff I have to do and settle.
Cpf and hdb forms, I need to apply for a school so I can start next year.
I've decided I don't think I can study this year cause I still got stuff I wanna ccomplete.
Like my trips and internships and smaller upcoming projects I need to settle.
Which I need a new laptop too. Need to see how much everything is after I buy the programmes too.
I need to figure out how much my monthly bills be cause I need to figure out a price to lease one of the rooms.
Iam thinking of NTU,or SIM but I must say the one year programme for lasalle is still tempting.
Arghhh!!

Ciao! Ciao!

a wet friday..

Raining in the morning.. How nice to snuggle in bed..but "work" is calling.. Arghh.damn it
Well today is another friday.not so bad knowing the weekend starts at 5.30 today heh!
I got to find a place that sells white, female sized tshirt for S. Gonna get creative after work.
I don't know how to get to the place tomorrow. Hope its not to far from the mrt or something.
Don't know ill be there till what time either. Oh wells as long as there's frens I guess its gonna be fun.
Haven seen the two girls for some time already. Hur hur hur. Wonder what I an wear tomorrow. Thinking of making my own t-shirt.
I got a few days left to submit my cover for PRINT mag. And Passage Mag still hasn't got back to me.. Like hellooo... U want help or don't you?
Looking forward to sunday lunch with the peeps too! Catch up catch up!
OMG raining so heavily in Kranji! Maybe its not such a good thing.

Ciao!

jam packed.

Jam packed literally. Standing in this crowded train beside this army guy is not helping. Let me just tell you this train is just diverse in terms of smells.
Omg another wift. But anyways what I wanna say is that my schedule now is so packed. AY has booked so many sessions with me that I am in camp only like 2 fulls days a week only for the next month!
It may sound great to you but let me say the sessions I have now is so tiring! Mentally and physically? I don't know how to explain it. I go back after sessions with headaches.. And it only gets worse on the way home.
She says it could be because I aint eating lunch and all that.
Well at least I don't have to stay in camp..even WO fatty can't stop me.

I got so many things I have to do!!
Not including the things I want to do.
Slowly slowly.
Ok ill update laterz.

Ciao

FLOOD

goodness. at first i didnt believe it when i saw ppl started tweeting abt orchard road flooding and all. thennnnn the pictures started popping out... goodness!! HERMES UNDER WATER!. if it wasnt for the fact that there was police officers outside and i was in camp... ill swim for dear life into that darn shop looking for the bag of my life.. sigh..
when i watch the videos kinda reminded me of the tsunami though. goodness.
it was like a canal!

day to remember definately.
i wonder what mussimo dutti gonna do with all their ruined clothes. and just when they were gonna start their sale. i bet they had alot of stock ruined.

even wendy's that was yet to open soon had to suffer. my poor red head girl. heh.

ciao!

is it just me?

why cant i remember?
why can me so impossible for me to remember moments?

i hate living in just the now.
i want to remember.

...

movies affect me.
i cant deny iam a very emotional person.
i relate to movies.

and i just realized iam too dependent on you. i think i still am.
iam a gundu. cant help it.

night.

sundays.

i miss my old Sundays. where i use to have a simple dinner and then take that long bus ride to the other side of the island.
hang out at home and watch TV.. or go sungei road... or the library... simple inexpensive stuff.
iam trying to do that still just to keep me awake. i like finding that odd item for $2 bucks or to find that book that would inspire me that my life can be as great or to experience something filling in my tummy.
but today was bad. i felt like crying and shouting when the library didn't inspire me at all!
i don't think iam crazy... its just that when i go to he library and pick up a magazine or a book with a preety cover. i imagine how my future can be like that or i could be working on some project that will end up in a book and be in all the libraries all over the world.. things like that.
i was thinking how my life wouldnt be long enough for me to do all the things i want to do.
how i want to be a food columnist or a major PR manager or some thing.
i feel like reading my old diaries. see how much ive forgotten.

ciao>:)

speed racer.

I find time just flew past. Iam 22 and I have been suddenly put into a position where my parents and my grandmom will
Be leaving singapore and I have to stay here alone. My mom will be selling the house and be buying a smaller house for me
Under her and my name. So I have to get a job soon so I can contribute through cpf. How is it possible that all these hgappened within a week?!
So typical of my family. Sudden and impromtu. Argh.
I still have to decide where I wanna study which I subconciously delaying I think.
Damns. I always wanted a house for my own but I think this is just too soon!

Oh wells sooner or later I suppose. All part of growing up?

growing up.

Its weird when I think how old I already am. How u and your frens are considered adults. How the places u hang out
Are diff as compared to when u were younger. We chill out and dine at better not forgetting more expensive places. We travel
And move from place to place more often, more differently eg. U get driven around or your the one driving now or your more
Willing and prone to take a cab.
You think of different things, u want different and bigger things..
I hate the fact that my memory is so bad. Its not that its not memorable but my brain takes things at the moment.. It dosent store
Much it seems. It angers and saddens me when I can't remember stuff that I've been through..and its worst when your partner remembers everything.
I want to be able to say.."U remember the last time we went to....."
Now that's over and I feel devastated I can't remember the times when I was younger.
I know I've changed. I know you've changed.
My life will keep changing and I will hav to adapt. Even though I like it or not.
Ill be alone in singapore in two years time. My parents will be going elsewhere. I am kinda excited to be living in a house I own even though it will
Be smaller than the one I am in now. But it does scare me. Who can I turn to?
That's part of growing up I suppose.
Truthfully,I feel like running away now. Far far away. Nothing much here for me anyways.

Ciao.

updates..for myself.

Firstly I stayed up till 2am watching Love of Siam. I must admit that some parts made me wanna cry.
Kinda dissapointed with the ending though. Maybe cause I wanted to see the two of them tgt and I always love a happy ending.
Besides that I was multi-watching Drop Dead Diva which was quite a good episode. Gave me quite a laugh and made me think abt some stuff.
My mind is racing.. Yet my life is the epitome of boredom. I was having my "crazy" night yest. Late nights make me think too much.
I was thinking of raising funds for SPCA. Like the 2 DOLLAR project. Where I ask ppl to donate that amount maybe for something in return but I can't figure out yet what it is.
Then I had a thought of doing brands for halloween but made out of random stuff..eg a channeel tweet out of cotton balls?
Then I was thinking of joining a blog photography competition. not bad to be a blogger for vogue don't u think?
Then I wanted to make tshirts. Not the normal kind but funny and quirky kinds like designer ones.
All inspired by VOGUE. Ohh! I need to reno my living room. mom agreed too.. But I wanna redo everything. Toilet and kitchen included but I guess the toilet and living room comes first.

U know thank god its friday. I can't stand camp anymore. I was on mc yest. Had the shits. Hahaha.
Today ill be meeting raf after work. Spend some creative and relaxing time with him. He needs it.
Hmmm..K is going thailand. I want to go too but I can't afford to take leave now and I don't exactly have the money now.
I told K what I thought abt us. Sigh.

OHH!!! Something weird happened at the poly that day. There I was standing there and I saw this guy carrying his new born.there I was just looking at it and thinking how cute the baby looked. Next I was like I want one and I was imagining myself with kids.
Thennnnn.. I was like WTF am I thinking?!?! Since when did I think this way?! Is my fatherly instincts kicking in?!
Goodness. Nisa felt like the urge to wear a tudong is upon her too. HAHA. Maybe its just us getting old?

Other than that I went to watch SATC and prince of persia which was good actually. Oh wells

Ciao!

I am upset. So upset.
Telling me I am the same? That I am defensive?
Wouldn't u be if u were made to feel like a liar?
I am upset..so upset. Why,does it bother u what I told u?
I knew u kept thinking abt it just by looking at your face.
Why is it such a big deal to you I wonder.
I am upset. I am upset we fought over him?
Kinda makes me sick now..I hate the fact that it reminds me why I didn't want to talk.
There is no trust. I hate it. U dig and dig and make me feel like a criminal and u tell me off for being defensive.
If iam not, who will defend me? You? Iam starting to believe you will never stand up for me.
I keep pushing the problems to the back of my head. I woke up this morning thinking its fine cause
I can't help having feelings for you. The same feelings as when I see u when I was 16.
Iam really doubting myself now. How many times can I push back the anger,ego and hurt to the back seat and embrace like there was no problem?
I think I want you more than you want me. The problem with me is that I can't seem to give up.
I hate it.
I am upset..so upset.