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today i skipped razali's class... was my first time this semester!.. god. then i was liek half an hour late for cynthia... dunno why... well at least ive done all my flashcards.
went out after school.. had lunch/dinner. nice nice. euegene and corrine.. cant believe i wont be seeing them when school reopens...it wont be like school for me at first i guess... its like i need to see at least one of them... gonna miss those nutheads.


i drew this today in class.. coloured it in the train... i dunno just another random moment.


i drew her somewhere on the first week of school maybe? i dont know why but now shes like something i must see everytime i open my notebook..

herms.

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snapshots from today.... thats all not much words nowdays huh.






another series of sketches for my bunny collection. its getting to me.. sometimes i start drawing my bunnies in scenes connected to how i am feeling at that specific time....

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happy happy... well kinda
moms is getting better i hope?
school work is getting solved...slowly.
not much to worry yet...

well that day i had to walk down infront of the whole batch of foundation students parading my jewellery.. actually all of us had too.

i was playing with ribbons first.... i kinda like this photo.

then i came up with this after so long... if u see closely i cut the edge like a snake's tongue...sssss

then i met suj after that i had him wear it.. but it was abit flattened already.. nevertheless... i still love this pic.

herms.

A card from a special friend...
Cookies from a special someone....

All for the sake of Herman's Day!.. it is such a nice idea... it really is and it means alot to me. Thanks.

i hope things go well for many things. school... mom... every thing else.
i started off thinking ive got tons to type abt.. actually i do.. but i cant do it now... i dont know why.
till next time.
herms.

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hmm lets see...
so many things to say.
well iam just glad 'we' cleared things up... iam so much happier..haha.. but i still got a few things to settle here and there.
my sis got back from dubai yesterday... had bbq at my uncle's place too. i kinda like his place.. he has his own garden and its so near the beach!.. gosh
well i felt weird when my sis came back.. i dont know why.
she also said she has a few job offers in dubai. she could be going to dubai next ye in August and work there for 2 yrs... making big bucks i guess... another one was an offer from this ballet company.. she said it was to boring for her. hahaha.
i got a new phone too!.. wee.. iam just happy that my sis got me one.. she also got mee..... VODKA!.. peach flavoured mind u. just the thing i need on those all so nights where i feel liek just killing myself. hahaha.
need to get a job. got the number for a job.. but iam not sure if its the right thing to work there though. :s oh well. haha.
got so much shit to do... but iam just grateful this weekend has been a great one.
herms.

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i dont want to go to school this morning.. first time that i really cant give a rats ass abt the work i have to hand in tomorrow. f**k lah seriously.
the interview for my major course sucked... moving on
i dunno but ive been very dead... just zone out 24/7
f**k this.. whatever

herms -take care.

tears flowing making me damp
this was not who i am.
unstoppable changes are taking place
not exactly at the right time in this race.
everything is not going out as planned
and yet people are flying around liek grains of sand.

gosh... cant say whats exactly going on..uncertainty is sitting at the throne at the moment
dont think its only one thing when in actual fact its more than just that.
its not as easy as said and done
cant decide whats wrong or right
to follow faith or follow mind

saying words that hurt when it was meant to heal
thinking right when it was just naive

herms.
it may not make sense to u.. but i guess this is just a note to myself.. i just had to write it down somewhere.

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finally finished video yesterday... i hope the scenes that we did thats nice didnt get overwrite.
well i think its ok... we did loads of work. i went to my grandmom after that.
they came back from malaysia at around 9? he came there too.
i couldnt even bear to look at his face. i dunoo.. i just tired to keep mysyself busy.. so i just subconciously began eating... i cant imagine i can hate someone so badly.
haiz....i dont even talk to u... so stop pretending i would.
this morning i woke up i felt so lost.
i dont know what iam supposed to do for school or if theres anything to do for other stuff.

gaining to fast... i hate it.

confused.

herms.

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all these arent really my good sketches but i kinda like it...

well i had to exagerate most stuff.. so thats why i made the boobs so round.. :p... the original artist had the idea of distortion.. thus the figure of the women was not really realistic.

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how do i really feel abt it?
i dont know.. maybe its only working oneway?
maybe... i hope its not.

On the way back from school in the mrt, a couple sat beside me.
the wife came in holding a bouquet of about 5 sunflowers
it caught my eye.. i bet it caught the others in the train too.
maybe she just started work after her maternity leave and the office decided to get her something.. iam not sure..maybe its from her husband.
one way or another, it still shows someone care.. someone still gives a shit.. someone still love.

the other thing i noticed was the three ladies sitting infront of her.
they kept staring... u could tell by the way they talked to each other, they wished thier bfs or someone had gotten them flowers too.
how can flowers mean so much to someone when its gonna die anyway?
everything dies.

then two middle aged ladies came in.. talked abt their job. i couldnt help but to listen.
its sad. i dont want to be like them but i know i would be.. one day. is there a choice you can take to get out of this vicious cycle?
please let there be one.

herms.

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i like the inverted colour one rather than the original sketch.. but i think this sketch is stil rubbish.
this is what happens when iam crzy on a specific day.
the red design is my new fad.. my hands subconciously start doing it..
this was inspired by a fren's fren. its amazing what simple lines can do...i was doing it on a moving train mind u.
this hermit character was because of an inccident i had when school started. it was all because of a stoopid girl.. whatever to you!
i was going through my books and its been ages since i flipped though this book... i loved all the 6 series... everytime i watched, i wished so badly that one day i could have a life like hers in the series.. "star light star bright"

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i was too early for school that day.. so i took a detour.
this was what i ended up doodling... this was on 6th March

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a single day can revive and uproot so much of the past.
relive emotions u havent felt in years...
making u feel as young and vunerable as you were back then but only to realise
that your not and will never be that young again.

"this" will come and it will pass
it will.. it will
i always imagine being in the future and looking back at this specific moment, wondering sometimes what i'll be by then. dont you?
only now i sit here.. only to remember of the past how i've lied.. crushed.. hurt.. so many people.
the feeling can kill u.

ive had bumps in my life.. the only way i got through it was to ignore.. forget.. pretend its not there... literally dumb myself.
maybe thats why i find the need to talk to myself sometimes...

its another day tomorrow... another series of events... another day will be forgotten like so many others in my life. if only all of us realise our days are numbered and not to take each day like any other day...
to learn from mistakes...
i learned something yesterday.

but now i feel the need to be somewhere far... secluded.
its a big world... i realised that when i was at the airport yesterday. its sad to know i sqaured, contained and forgot abt that.. but who dosent?

herms.

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just thought of blogging before i leave to get ready for school. new projects.. new stuff due.
holidays are coming soon...well kinda. need to find a proper job.

at least iam not alone now.

group work..tons...god.. stressful
a habbit is growing..just hope it dosent evolve into a disorder.
afraid to contact... broke a schedule.

herms.

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well project submission week is over... but new projects have already been given out. and its due 7 weeks later. great. :s
my option form for what i want to major in is nearly due too.. i have to decide what i want soon.. need to talk to my siter about.. i feel safer.
need to get ready my portfolio for the interviews too.
competition will be tough.. dear god.. iam scared i wont make it.

school issint the only thing on my mind at the moment..
something is making we worry to much..
something is just making me feel inferior..

really need to think things through... it is my life afterall.

anyway.. the interior project was great.. he kept our model..woohoo.
when he told the group leaders to write a report on the group.. i held nothing back.. and wrote what i felt needed to be said so as everyone in the group got the marks they deserved... so u can figure out every one in the group wpnt be getting the same marks eventhough we are in the same group. it was easier for me to write even more since corrine and eugene wasnt there during presentation day. it was their lost.

-herms.

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i have got around 10 mins more before i need to get ready to go to school. iam tired, iam kinda irritated too.
i was doing fashion the whole nigh.. well i was fallign asleep here and there.. in and out of unconciousness u can say.
corrine and eugene wont be coming today.
ive got interior "group" project to present. i spent the early hours to finish up on the journal compilation. which iam thinking where i can go and hope the shop near school is open to bind it. i told sean days ago to finish up on the model so i can get the pics.. she did it last night.. i only got the pics around 1 am?
grrr..
dont people know their role to play? iam only doing all this for the grade. i dont want to say anything just in case the other members get irritated cause ive got 2 more projects that i have to do with them.
i also had to do the composition/ script for the video production. she said she wanted tomorrow but that someone aint gonna come.. then rush me for what?
sometime si feel they dont put effort at all.
that other special someone. complains abt life all day long.. and does nothing. ive heard enough of your shit mister!... i told u. now.. if u wont do, i wont bother.
well need to get ready now. what a mood to go to school.

herms.

its my bday and ill do what i want to... hopefully.

well.. a few hours from now and it will be my bday! iam not that excited abt it.. i dont know why.. just another yr i guess.. but still.. i made a cake for myself :)

lets see what i can do when iam 18....

1) watch M18 movies (legally)

2) have sex (whenever.. well u dont have to be 18 anyway)

3) buy booze/ ciggs

4) club .. whatever else.

but the thing is... i want to be 18 and stay there. iam already feeling abit scared with the idea of getting old. i told my sis.. she said its the way of life.. still it scares me.

where will i be when iam old? seeing those sick/limping/ battered old folks in public issint helping me either.. i really really am scared of getting old. gosh i know this might sound silly to u.. but it kinda freaks me out.

well anyhoo i got fashion to do.. i just want to finish as much as i can.. i got other stuff to do.. kinda sad when u think abt it, its my bday and i got school work thats due.. stress!

my grandmom told me to go her house.. she said she will cook somethign special for me too.. sweet huh... well back to my damn school work!

herms.